201 Ways to Get Even With Your Boss shows every angry and fed-up employee how to say thank you for all those rude and inconsiderate slights he (or she) has received over the years.
Here are some good get-even examples:
This inventive book is guaranteed to get a reaction from the boss, ranging from a chuckle to “You’re fired!”
For the office clown, the disillusioned, the soon-to-be fired, or the employee with a vendetta, this collection will relieve the tension and make the daily grind just a little bit easier.
Your boss calls you into his office at five p.m. and presents you with an enormous project that must be ready by nine a.m. the following morning. He bellows that it is of the utmost importance and he doesn’t care if you have to stay at work until two a.m. to finish it.
You work until four a.m. and show up at nine a.m. with project in hand, imagining you’ll hear “What a great job!” or “I knew I could count on you!” Instead you hear your boss is on vacation. He flew to New York last night.
Your boss claims it is not part of his job to carry an overhead slide projector, screen, and several heavy boxes of display equipment out to his car. Rather than ask the 61-year-old receptionist to do it, as your six-foot-four-inch boss suggests, you make several trips out to the parking lot hauling equipment that would have taken your boss one trip.
As you stagger back to the office out of breath from this laborious task, instead of hearing “Thank you,” you get yelled at because you haven’t finished typing the letter you started before you became a teamster.
Now you no longer have to daydream about how to plot your revenge against a nincompoop of a boss. This book shows you in detail how to say “Thank you” for all those rude and inconsiderate gestures you have received over the years.
Not all of the suggestions are for everyone. Take the test on the next few pages, rate your boss, and let your score determine which pranks to play.
Some are in the “fun-loving” category, and these selections are denoted with a single dagger symbol. Some suggestions fall into the intermediate category and are given the two-dagger status. Beware of the three-dagger reprisal. You might end up with the last laugh, but you might be doing your laughing on the unemployment line.
You may be asking yourself, “Does my boss really deserve this?” Perhaps the answer is yes. Perhaps it is no. Only you can decide if you just want to play a harmless joke, wreak mild havoc on your boss, or embark on a journey of destruction. The following multiple-choice test should help you decide if your boss deserves a single-dagger prank, a double-dagger-, or a triple-dagger-rated prank.
❦ 1. The first thing my boss insists that I do when I arrive at work in the morning is:
❦ 2. Whenever my boss is dieting, she insists I:
❦ 3. When giving dictation, your boss insists on:
❦ 4. My boss considers sexual harassment:
❦ 5. When my boss attends meetings, she always sits in the back and:
❦ 6. Unbeknownst to you, your boss has:
❦ 7. Your boss pretends to be a “nice guy” by giving you an extra break every morning. However, he insists you spend this time:
❦ 8. You can’t prove it, but you know that your boss has stolen:
❦ 9. You get annoyed when your boss won’t return:
❦ 10. Each year during the holidays, your boss makes you save all the fruitcakes so he/she can:
❦ 11. When you’re both in a crowd, your boss:
❦ 12. My boss insists I answer the phone with:
❦ 13. Once a week your boss asks you to spend your lunch hour:
❦ 14. It’s unusual for my boss to show up for work:
❦ 15. My boss usually has more than one:
❦ 16. Coworkers don’t like to carpool with my boss because:
❦ 17. Your boss claims the reason he needs you to sit on his lap is:
❦ 18. Your boss always takes vacation the week raises come out because:
❦ 19. Every day your boss asks you to take a sip of every beverage he is about to consume. He does this as a:
❦ 20. On a regular basis, your boss is most likely to open:
❦ 21. Each year during the holidays, your boss starts a Toys for Tots drive in the office. However, you notice he always solicits donations of:
❦ 22. Whenever my boss spots me putting something in an envelope, he always asks:
❦ 23. My boss has been known to spend her lunch hour at:
❦ 24. My boss prides himself on being:
❦ 25. My boss doesn’t know the meaning of the word:
❦ 26. After returning from a trip to the doctor’s office, my boss is likely to say:
❦ 27. My boss’s breath is so bad that sometimes:
Give yourself one point for every (a) answer, two points for all (b) answers, and three points for (c) answers.
Congratulations! Your boss sounds like a dream and it appears you have nothing to complain about. But don’t let that stop you.
Look out! Your boss could go either way, but it’s better not to take any chances. Don’t let your boss fraternize with other bosses whose bad habits could rub off on him/her. As a matter of fact, keep all contact with the world outside your office to a bare minimum.
Don’t give phone messages or let him/her see any mail. RSVP “no” to all meetings. Insist everyone he/she tries to reach by phone is not in. This will most likely get your boss fired. But then you will be free to train your new boss to treat you in a manner to which you are more accustomed.
You know the expression “Turn the other cheek”? Well, the only cheek you should show this kind of boss is the one found below your equator. But he or she would probably like that.
Whether your boss is an insensitive, Neanderthal brute or an anal-retentive nagger, he/she will never change. And you’re not going to change either. But what you can change, thanks to this book, is your boss’s relationship with his/her spouse, boss, neighbors, and the IRS. 🌳